Is It Mandatory to Exchange Legal Vows on Your Wedding Day?

May 04, 2024

The exchange of vows is arguably the most anticipated part of a wedding day, thrilling guests and giving the ceremony its emotional peak. While some couples may prefer not to use personalised vows, opting instead for standard ones, it raises a question: Can they skip the vows altogether if the ceremony is just a simple marriage registration?

To clarify, there are generally two types of vows heard at weddings:

Personalised vows and love promises
Legal vows or minimum wording

Legally, couples are not required to exchange personalized vows if they choose not to. However, the law does require that couples exchange a minimum set of words, known as the mandatory vows, during all civil marriage registrations. This requirement is specified as follows:

"I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [Party 1], take thee, [Party 2], to be my lawful wedded wife/husband."

This declaration is a compulsory component of getting married under the Australian Marriage Act.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I personalise these minimum vows?

Yes, but with limitations. While the basic structure should remain intact, you can make slight modifications. For instance, 'call upon' can be changed to 'ask', 'thee' to 'you', and 'persons here present' to 'everyone here'.

We are a same-sex couple. Do we have alternatives to using 'husband' and 'wife'?

Absolutely. You might consider using 'spouse' or 'partner in marriage' as suitable alternatives that respect and reflect your relationship.

When should I exchange the minimum wording if I want to include personalised vows?

You have several options. Best practice suggests that the minimum wording or legal vows should precede your personalised vows. However, I can also accommodate couples who prefer to express their personalised promises before the legal vows, or integrate the minimum wording during the ring exchange. If you have other ideas, feel free to discuss them with me.

I have guests who don’t understand English; can I present the minimum wording in another language?

Yes, you can present the minimum wording in another language alongside the English version, ensuring all guests understand the commitment being made.

Can I use my nickname when exchanging the minimum wording?

Nicknames are permissible throughout the ceremony; however, during the exchange of the minimum wording—the most formal part of the ceremony—couples are required to use their full legal names as recorded in the Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) for the legal identification of the parties.

Exchanging vows is a beautiful and memorable part of the ceremony, so ensuring they resonate with you and your guests will leave a lasting impression on everyone involved.

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