Must We Exchange Personalised and Romantic Vows on Our Wedding Day?

The short answer is: No—you don’t have to exchange personalised or romantic vows on your wedding day, unless you want to.

As a celebrant, I often meet couples who feel uncertain about this part of the ceremony. Some love the idea of writing their own vows, while others feel shy, overwhelmed, or unsure what to say.

The truth is: what you say to each other should feel right for you.

Let’s break it down.

What You Do Have to Say (By Law)

Every couple getting married in Australia must say a legally required sentence during the ceremony. One of the most commonly used versions is:

“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse.”

This sentence—or a legally approved variation—must be spoken aloud by both parties to make the marriage legally binding.

💬 There are a few acceptable variations of this legal vow wording, and I’ll happily go through all the options with you when we meet—so you can choose the version that feels most natural to you.

This is the only part of your vows that’s required by law. So if you're feeling nervous about public speaking or want to keep things simple, that’s absolutely okay.

Personalised Vows: Optional, But Meaningful

Exchanging your own vows is a beautiful way to:

• Express your love in your own words
• Share promises and values that reflect your relationship
• Create an unforgettable, emotional moment during your ceremony

But it’s not something you have to do.

You can choose to:

• Write and read your own vows
• Repeat short vows after me (I’ll guide you gently through it)
• Use a set of pre-written vows
• Skip personal vows altogether, and just say the legal wording

Whatever you decide, I’ll work with you to make sure your ceremony feels authentic, comfortable, and true to your style as a couple.

Final Thoughts

There’s no rule that says you must exchange romantic or custom-written vows to be truly married. You get to decide how you want to mark this moment—whether it’s quiet and private, heartfelt and expressive, or full of laughter and personality.

If you’re feeling unsure about the vows or want to explore your options, I’d love to chat and help you craft a ceremony that feels just right for you.

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